I can hardly believe it’s been a year since my last post but, it has. And what a year it has been... most of you know of all the changes that have occurred in our lives over this last year. Some of you know because of Facebook, some of you know because we talk and some of you know because you have been a part of the journey with us, helping, supporting and loving us through it all. So for those of you that may not know all the details, here it goes, a year in review… the good, the great and the most devastating, life changing and heartbreaking moment of my life…
Most of you know we are back in sunny San Diego!!! We never thought it would happen but it did and we could not be happier. Thanks to the amazing support of family and friends we were able to pack up and successfully make the move back here. 
We are in a beautiful home, in the perfect neighborhood, on a cul de sac right next to Shilo's school. We are close enough that we can walk her to and from school every day. None of this would have been possible if not for our amazing friends John and Miranda. Our home, this environment and this life that we are able to offer our kids they helped to make possible and we are thankful to them every single day. We are happy to be back in our home town, happy to be back near all of our friends and family and more than anything, happy to be back at the beach!
On that note however, I do have to say, we are so thankful for the time we had in Seattle. The people we met, the lifelong friendships that were born, the memories made and the life changing opportunities we were given. Seattle not only opened up new doors for both mine and Ian's career, but it allowed us to experience a life outside of our comfort zone. Seattle came into our lives at a time when we needed it most and it truly was a beautiful journey filled with so many new experiences, people and wonderful memories. I believe everything happens for a reason and I believe that our move to Seattle is what allowed us to have Thatcher, I believe this with my whole heart. The circumstances at which I was able to get pregnant with Thatcher would not have been possible had I not met the people I did in the neighborhood we lived in, in SEATTLE. So, though we missed out on a lot here in San Diego with friends and family, and there were moments when life was very difficult for us being so far away and all alone, it was all worth it and every day that I look at my sweet boys beautiful smile, I am reminded that choosing to leave though difficult at the time, was the best decision we ever made. 
Transitioning back was very easy… it took no time at all to get into the swing of things and to adjust to the weather we had missed so much. We spent the last few weeks of summer at the beach soaking up the sun, visiting friends and family and getting ready for the start of a whole new chapter in our lil miss' life, Kindergarten! She started school at the end of August and hit the ground running. I am so impressed with her school and her teacher. Shilo walked into her classroom in August recognizing only a few words and knowing how to write even less. Today she has mastered over 67 site words, is reading us books every single night and educating us on the life of Abraham Lincoln. One of my greatest gifts this past year has been watching Shilo learn, grow and mature into the beautiful little girl that she is. She has changed so much over this past year and I continue to be inspired by her huge heart and beautiful soul. She is an old soul and though at times this is extremely challenging (for her parents) I would not change it for a minute. Thatcher too has grown in leaps and bounds over this last year. Our little bug is becoming such a big boy. He loves having conversations, reading books, playing outside and being "uppy". And, like his sister, he is very much his own person.
He will not be told what to do, when to do it or how to do it, it has to be his idea on his terms and only when he is ready. He loves his big sister “sissy”. He follows her everywhere wanting to do everything she does, and go everywhere she goes. Sometimes Sissy is okay with him tagging along and sometimes she is not… oh the joys of siblings. I must say though, even though there is a 3 ½ year age gap between them, they have a bond that I truly believe will last them a lifetime. I can see it when they are together, they are not just siblings they are friends. 
Part of the decision to come back to San Diego, for me, was to be near my friends. My friends, my family! I grew up in San Diego so all of my lifelong friends were here, and I was so excited to be back to be able to share in all of life’s experiences together, to watch our kids grow up together, to make new memories together, to start a new chapter together…
two of the people I was looking forward to this the most with was Kathy and Janel. My two lifelong best friends… through thick and thin, good and bad, disagreements, heartbreaks, and babies… 20 years of my life’s ups and downs included these two girls so needless to say I was a little bit excited that we were reuniting, starting our new chapter as women!We were planning to kick off our adventure on Friday November 25, 2011, it was going to be our first reunion as three since I had seen them in April and told them we were moving back to SD. It was going to be our first girls night out together in YEARS. It was going to be Kathy’s 34th birthday celebration!!!
On Thursday November 24th, Thanksgiving Day, Kathy’s 34th birthday, I was in my kitchen basting my turkey when my phone rang. I looked at it and it was Janel. I let it ring as I knew I would call her back. I just assumed she was calling to wish me Happy Thanksgiving or to touch base on our Friday plans. But then she immediately called again and then again. On the third call, I answered the phone and it was in that moment that my life changed forever. I said hello and all I heard was, “Sara, its Janel, Kathy was kidnapped” …
Less than 48 hours later I would learn after hours of sitting outside her apartment waiting for her to just miraculously show up. After hours upon hours of crying, hugging and searching endlessly, passing out flyers, driving everywhere looking for her, after holding a candlelight vigil, hoping, praying and waiting for her to come home… less than 48 hours later I would hear the words that will forever haunt me, the words that I feared so much but hoped so desperately to not hear, I would hear that Kathy had been found and that she was no longer with us.
There are moments in life that define who we are; they change us to the very core. I have had so many life changing moments (both good and bad), life’s normal moments, and the ones that so many of us have in common (marriage, babies, and friendships). But in that moment, everything about me changed. In that moment every emotion I felt: emptiness, loss, hopelessness, fear, anger, desperation, devastation, heartbreak and hatred was felt in my core, it was truly the most painful moment of my life. In that moment, I experienced a loss too great to define in words. On that day, I lost not only one of my very best friends, but a true angel brought into my life. On that day, I lost a piece of me.
As I continue everyday to try and move forward, to put one foot in front of the other, I am inspired by Ian, who has been there every step of the way. I am inspired by the beauty and innocence of Shilo and Thatcher. I am inspired by all of the people (old friends, new friends, friends of friends and family) that have come together in support of Kathy, her beautiful daughter and her amazing family.
But most of all, every single day, I am inspired by Kathy... a true friend, my best friend, an angel, my person. But Kathy was not just those things to me, she inspired so many, she touched so many people's lives. And moreso, she was an amazing mother, a loving daughter and sister. I am forever thankful for the years we shared, the memories we made and the amazing impact she had on my life.In Loving Memory of Kathy Scharbarth
