365 days...

I am not even sure where to begin...

I can hardly believe it’s been a year since my last post but, it has. And what a year it has been... most of you know of all the changes that have occurred in our lives over this last year. Some of you know because of Facebook, some of you know because we talk and some of you know because you have been a part of the journey with us, helping, supporting and loving us through it all. So for those of you that may not know all the details, here it goes, a year in review… the good, the great and the most devastating, life changing and heartbreaking moment of my life…

Most of you know we are back in sunny San Diego!!! We never thought it would happen but it did and we could not be happier. Thanks to the amazing support of family and friends we were able to pack up and successfully make the move back here. We are in a beautiful home, in the perfect neighborhood, on a cul de sac right next to Shilo's school. We are close enough that we can walk her to and from school every day. None of this would have been possible if not for our amazing friends John and Miranda. Our home, this environment and this life that we are able to offer our kids they helped to make possible and we are thankful to them every single day.

We are happy to be back in our home town, happy to be back near all of our friends and family and more than anything, happy to be back at the beach!







On that note however, I do have to say, we are so thankful for the time we had in Seattle. The people we met, the lifelong friendships that were born, the memories made and the life changing opportunities we were given. Seattle not only opened up new doors for both mine and Ian's career, but it allowed us to experience a life outside of our comfort zone. Seattle came into our lives at a time when we needed it most and it truly was a beautiful journey filled with so many new experiences, people and wonderful memories. I believe everything happens for a reason and I believe that our move to Seattle is what allowed us to have Thatcher, I believe this with my whole heart. The circumstances at which I was able to get pregnant with Thatcher would not have been possible had I not met the people I did in the neighborhood we lived in, in SEATTLE. So, though we missed out on a lot here in San Diego with friends and family, and there were moments when life was very difficult for us being so far away and all alone, it was all worth it and every day that I look at my sweet boys beautiful smile, I am reminded that choosing to leave though difficult at the time, was the best decision we ever made.

Transitioning back was very easy… it took no time at all to get into the swing of things and to adjust to the weather we had missed so much. We spent the last few weeks of summer at the beach soaking up the sun, visiting friends and family and getting ready for the start of a whole new chapter in our lil miss' life, Kindergarten! She started school at the end of August and hit the ground running. I am so impressed with her school and her teacher. Shilo walked into her classroom in August recognizing only a few words and knowing how to write even less. Today she has mastered over 67 site words, is reading us books every single night and educating us on the life of Abraham Lincoln. One of my greatest gifts this past year has been watching Shilo learn, grow and mature into the beautiful little girl that she is. She has changed so much over this past year and I continue to be inspired by her huge heart and beautiful soul. She is an old soul and though at times this is extremely challenging (for her parents) I would not change it for a minute.

Thatcher too has grown in leaps and bounds over this last year. Our little bug is becoming such a big boy. He loves having conversations, reading books, playing outside and being "uppy". And, like his sister, he is very much his own person. He will not be told what to do, when to do it or how to do it, it has to be his idea on his terms and only when he is ready. He loves his big sister “sissy”. He follows her everywhere wanting to do everything she does, and go everywhere she goes. Sometimes Sissy is okay with him tagging along and sometimes she is not… oh the joys of siblings. I must say though, even though there is a 3 ½ year age gap between them, they have a bond that I truly believe will last them a lifetime. I can see it when they are together, they are not just siblings they are friends.



Part of the decision to come back to San Diego, for me, was to be near my friends. My friends, my family! I grew up in San Diego so all of my lifelong friends were here, and I was so excited to be back to be able to share in all of life’s experiences together, to watch our kids grow up together, to make new memories together, to start a new chapter together… two of the people I was looking forward to this the most with was Kathy and Janel. My two lifelong best friends… through thick and thin, good and bad, disagreements, heartbreaks, and babies… 20 years of my life’s ups and downs included these two girls so needless to say I was a little bit excited that we were reuniting, starting our new chapter as women!

We were planning to kick off our adventure on Friday November 25, 2011, it was going to be our first reunion as three since I had seen them in April and told them we were moving back to SD. It was going to be our first girls night out together in YEARS. It was going to be Kathy’s 34th birthday celebration!!!

On Thursday November 24th, Thanksgiving Day, Kathy’s 34th birthday, I was in my kitchen basting my turkey when my phone rang. I looked at it and it was Janel. I let it ring as I knew I would call her back. I just assumed she was calling to wish me Happy Thanksgiving or to touch base on our Friday plans. But then she immediately called again and then again. On the third call, I answered the phone and it was in that moment that my life changed forever. I said hello and all I heard was, “Sara, its Janel, Kathy was kidnapped” …

Less than 48 hours later I would learn after hours of sitting outside her apartment waiting for her to just miraculously show up. After hours upon hours of crying, hugging and searching endlessly, passing out flyers, driving everywhere looking for her, after holding a candlelight vigil, hoping, praying and waiting for her to come home… less than 48 hours later I would hear the words that will forever haunt me, the words that I feared so much but hoped so desperately to not hear, I would hear that Kathy had been found and that she was no longer with us.

There are moments in life that define who we are; they change us to the very core. I have had so many life changing moments (both good and bad), life’s normal moments, and the ones that so many of us have in common (marriage, babies, and friendships). But in that moment, everything about me changed. In that moment every emotion I felt: emptiness, loss, hopelessness, fear, anger, desperation, devastation, heartbreak and hatred was felt in my core, it was truly the most painful moment of my life. In that moment, I experienced a loss too great to define in words. On that day, I lost not only one of my very best friends, but a true angel brought into my life. On that day, I lost a piece of me.

As I continue everyday to try and move forward, to put one foot in front of the other, I am inspired by Ian, who has been there every step of the way. I am inspired by the beauty and innocence of Shilo and Thatcher. I am inspired by all of the people (old friends, new friends, friends of friends and family) that have come together in support of Kathy, her beautiful daughter and her amazing family.

But most of all, every single day, I am inspired by Kathy... a true friend, my best friend, an angel, my person. But Kathy was not just those things to me, she inspired so many, she touched so many people's lives. And moreso, she was an amazing mother, a loving daughter and sister. I am forever thankful for the years we shared, the memories we made and the amazing impact she had on my life.

In Loving Memory of Kathy Scharbarth

Family Member of the week

Hello world...I know its been a while, but we are back to share with you on a regular basis our Bzzy life! I have broken up with Facebook and decided to go back to the old school way of doing things, updating you in the ways I love best, writing and pictures. So here it goes...

This past week we launched "Family Member of the Week" here in the Thomas household.


Think STAR of the week but for the family! I can't take all of the credit for the idea, as I had heard a brief mention of this idea in a movie that Ian and I watched a couple of weeks ago. But that was all I needed to hit the ground running. So take movie mention and add a quick stop at our local Ben Franklin for some art supplies and voila, a very cool family fun recognition program is brought to life!

Seeing as how it is a Family Recognition program we thought it necessary that we all work together on the project and its details. So all weekend long we were busy drawing, cutting, coloring, and pasting. Shilo drew pictures of each of us and we collectively came up with the "rewards" for being family member of the week. Below are all the details of how our new Family Recognition Program works.




One family member is selected randomly each week on Sunday evening. Names are drawn from a hat. The selected family member then puts their picture up on the Family Member Of the Week Board so we all remember who is the star for the week. For that week, the chosen family member then gets 6 special choices that they get to make throughout that week. The special choices/rewards are listed below (each idea was brainstormed and agreed upon by each family member before posting):

You will select one night where you get to choose dinner
You will select one weekend morning where you get to choose breakfast
You get to select the books to be read at bedtime for the entire week
You get to select a special family activity during the weekend
You will get to pick one special eating treat
You will get to go first every night at dinner when we discuss "Favorite Part of the Day"

Our hope with this is to continue to teach the kids about sharing, feeling special themselves and also having an opportunity to make someone else feel special as the "FAMILY STAR" for a week.

In a life that is so busy filled with work, school, bills, cooking, cleaning and everything else in between, leaving so little time for the really important things, its nice to have something simple and fun that helps us stay grounded and focused on the simple yet MOST IMPORTANT thing in our life, our family.

Family Song

I have always loved music. Growing up my mom always listened to music. I have such fond memories of her blasting the stereo while cleaning the house, doing yard work, or doing the dishes after dinner. Whenever we went to the beach or the park we brought along our little "boom box" so we were always surrounded by music. My mom was always singing if music was playing. A few of her favorites: Anita Baker, Taylor Dayne, Heart, Connie Frances and of course Patsy Cline. She knew every word to every song. I always loved hearing her sing. She had such a beautiful voice, even as I write this, I can hear her singing. We would listen to the same albums and tapes over and over again and overtime, because of this, I have learned to love music in much the same way. I love dancing to it, singing it, and listening to it loud. I love listening to the same song over and over again until I learn the words. I will buy a CD and I can listen to it for months at a time, leave it in the CD player in the car and it will be all I listen to. Overtime, I will most likely be able to attach each song I listen to from that CD to a moment, a person, or a feeling I have had in my life. I would love to someday put together a CD, "The Soundtrack of our Life" for my kids. It would be another way for me to tell them my story, their story, our story; another way to express how much happiness and love they bring to my life! Ian is a lover of music too, its one of the many reasons that I fell in love with him. He brought new music into my life; new songs and new bands that brought along new moments, new memories and new meanings. There are so many songs that I listen to now that will take me back to a moment, a place, a conversation or a look between Ian and I. There are so many songs that express my love, my happiness and my beautiful life with him. All of these songs would be played on my soundtrack. Because of our love for music, we have always surrounded our kids with music. Shilo and Thatcher both rocked out to the tunes of Bob Marley, Neil Diamond, Ben Harper, Dave Matthews, Sarah McLachlan, Norah Jones and many many more while in mama's tummy. The music continued for them both once they entered into the world. Little to no TV and lots and lots of music. We dance a lot and we sing even more. Shilo now is at an age where she is requesting songs and even more so specific artists. Some of her favorites: Bob Marley (of course), The Heptones, Neil Diamond, Keith Urban, Dave Matthews, anything Classical and Paolo Nutini to name a few. She too will listen to the same song over and over and she will now ask me to "turn it up a notch" if its a favorite. While listening to music with her lately, I have noticed her concentrating more while listening to the words, not only trying to learn them so she can sing along but also trying to understand what they mean, trying to understand what story is being told. Shilo is doing what I do, she is listening and finding her own meaning and attaching herself to the songs. When I really realized that this is what she was doing was when we were driving to school one morning. She asked me to put "Dave" in and play the "You and Me Together" song. I put the CD in and selected track #13. The song started and Shilo listened carefully to the lyrics:

Wanna pack your bags, Something small
Take what you need and we disappear
Without a trace we'll be gone, gone
The moon and the stars can follow the car
and then when we get to the ocean
We gonna take a boat to the end of the world
All the way to the end of the world

Oh, and when the kids are old enough
We're gonna teach them to fly

You and me together, we could do anything, Baby
You and me together yes, yes

You and I, we're not tied to the ground
Not falling but rising like rolling around
Eyes closed above the rooftops
Eyes closed, we're gonna spin through the stars
Our arms wide as the sky
We gonna ride the blue all the way to the end of the world
To the end of the world

Oh, and when the kids are old enough
We're gonna teach them to fly

You and me together, we could do anything, Baby
You and me together yes, yes

We can always look back at what we did
All these memories of you and me baby
But right now it's you and me forever girl
And you know we could do better than anything that we did
You know that you and me, we could do anything

We sang together loudly until the song was over and when it was done Shilo said to me, "mama that is my favorite song and you know what else mama? Its our family song. That song is about you, me, dada and Thatcher and we do anything together!"

My little miss is a 25 year old in a 4 year olds body, she truly amazes me! I have a feeling that this was the first of many moments where a song will define a moment or a memory in her life and I look forward to watching her and Thatcher create the soundtracks of their lives.

The new man in my life

I am officially in love. Hands down, head over heels in love. Who is this new love in my life, this new man that has stolen my heart in a new way? The answer is easy, its my son! MY SON! I never thought I would utter those words, I was so certain that we were going to have another girl, we would forever be "team pink" Ian outnumbered by stubborn, independent strong willed women and me loving it yet dreading the teenage years. The years that will be here sooner than I am ready and it will be Ian and his girls teaming up against mama! We were all pretty sure that is what life was going to be for us so much so, Ian has perfected his "mother's/daughter's speech".

Well, I am gonna have to brush up on my father/son speech because nature had other plans for us and we have even teams now (with Dori in the middle playing referee) Ian has his princess and I have my prince. Thatcher Wallace Thomas born Monday December 7, 2009 at 8:20am. He was 7lbs 6oz 20" long, has a full head of dark hair and big beautiful blue eyes (that are still 6 weeks later very blue). He is beautiful, handsome, and perfect in every way just like his big sister Shilo.
Speaking of Shilo...talk about a girl in love. She is in love, LOVE, love with her brother. He is all she talks about. He is the first thing she asks for in the morning when she wakes up (she has forgone the milk for her big brother), he is the first thing she asks for when she gets home from school. She wants him to come everywhere with her shopping, swimming, walks, play dates, you name it and he has been there with her. I knew Shilo would be a great big sister, but seeing her love him, talk to him, hold him, cuddle him and embrace him has been such a beautiful thing to see. I hope that it's the beginning of a very long and beautiful friendship between brother and sister.

So there you have it. Its a boy and we are all in love. And we are embracing team blue! We will keep you all posted on how life unfolds for us with little Miss Shilo Valentine and mister Thatcher Wallace...let the adventure and fun begin!

The time is here.... we go from 3.5 to 4.5 (.5 for Dori girl)

I can hardly believe that 39 weeks have passed, it feels like just yesterday we found out we were pregnant and in 24 hours, we will be meeting the newest family addition.... What I find even crazier is not how quickly the last 39 weeks have gone but how quickly 3 1/2 years have gone with Shilo. I feel like just yesterday I was holding her for the very first time and we were bringing her home in this very same outfit and now here she is, our beautiful brown eyed big girl; so very excited and so ready to be a big sister!

This pregnancy has been an easy one very similar to my preganancy with Shilo, and I feel very fortunate for that, not only becuase it makes the whole experience enjoyable but also because when you have one to take care of, well, we just don't have the time to lounge and relax like we did the first time. But, even if that is what I needed to do, honestly, I have had my little helper every step of the way and she would have probably allowed that to a certain extent.

Through this experience, I have watched Shilo grow and mature into such a beautiful little girl. Her kind heart, gentle spirit and overall tender and caring demeanor is truly amazing. Since the day we told her we were pregnant, there was never a sign of jealousy, only signs of love, joy and excitement for her new baby that would be here when Santa comes. A few weeks ago I actually got a note from her teacher and it said that recently Shilo had been playing with the younger kids in her class, taking care of them and telling her teachers, "I can help them, they are little, they don't know how to play yet, so I will show them." On another day, there was a new little girl that started in Shilo's class and the teacher's asked Shilo if she would play with her and without hesitation Shilo did, she will take any opportunity to be a helper and a caretaker. She absolutely loves to "love" and I couldn't think of a better attribute for someone who is about to become a big sister.



As the countdown has continued over the last several weeks for Shilo's new baby we have been wrapping up all the final details to prepare for baby. The room is done.





Shilo was instrumental in every detail from picking out the furniture and bedding to providing all of her original art work to put on the walls. Its a room that was truly pulled together and decorated with lots and lots of love. We did have some trouble negotiating certain decor due to the fact that Shilo has insisted since day one its a girl in mama's belly (which naturally means pink) and well, we won't know officially until tomorrow but we were able to work that out (phew). And yes, she is still insisting its a girl and she has picked out a pink bib or blanket here and there, but other than that, she created a room that is original, beautiful and perfect for our new little boy or girl.

My next post will undoubdtedly be about how we are doing as 4.5 versus 3.5 and though I know it will be an adjustment, and I know I won't be sleeping much and my house will be a mess and life will be crazy, as it always is when you bring home a new baby. I also know that this baby truly is a miracle and is already loved so very very much so I am prepared for the lack of sleep, the messy floors and an overall chaotic household because honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas present; we were able to give Shilo the gift of being a big sister and Ian and I were given the gift of a new baby, I don't think it gets much better than that!

Bath Time with Bebe and Gogo

I have not posted anything for a while... lots going on with the change of seasons and prepping for the newest Thomas family member. But tonight's conversation with Shilo was too precious, too classic and too hysterical to not share. Of course being her mother, I do think she has a great sense of humor and a one of a kind imagination and tonight's bath time conversation proves just that.

I must explain that during this entire conversation Shilo would interject requesting various "hair products" for Bebe and Gog's (IE her Barbies) hair. She would soak, massage, blow dry (with her invisible blow dryer) and then rinse and repeat. This conversation and Barbie Spa Treatment lasted about 30 minutes.



Here is how it went:

Shilo: Um we need to wash Bebe's hair, she has some glue in it, um can you please hand me some of that "Breve" (pointing to the shampoo) so I can soak her hair?

Mama: Breve, now what exactly is breve?

Shilo: Well um we use this to get the glue out of her hair. See all the glue (showing me barbie or excuse me Bebe's hair)in her hair? We need to massage in the breve to get the glue out.

Mama: So this breve, how much is a bottle of that? I mean I am asking because sometimes I get glue in my hair and I hadn't realized that there was such a product to get glue out of your hair.

Shilo: Um well it's like, $40 dollars for one bottle.

Mama: Wow $40 dollars and how long does something like that last? I mean $40 is a lot of money and I want to make sure that it will last a long time if I am going to spend that kind of money.

Shilo: Well it should last you like 40 weeks.

Shilo now moves onto rinsing out Bebe'e hair.

Mama: So you are doing a great job on her hair, is this part of a spa package that you offer because it seems to me that you are doing more than just getting the glue out with the massaging and now the soaking.

Shilo: Um yes, it's part of the spa package that I have. It's really great for your hair.

Mama: And how much does the spa package cost?

Shilo: Oh it's just like $40, its not very much

Mama: So the Breve shampoo cost the same as the spa package?

Shilo: Um yeah, it's just like $40 for both.

Mama: And how long is the spa treatment?

Shilo: Um it's about 27 minutes long.

Mama: 27 minutes for the entire spa treatment?

Shilo: Yes 27 minutes but you have to come back three times.

Mama: Oh really, 3 different times, how come?

Shilo: Well, because you can't really do this all at once. I mean, Bebe is gonna soak here for a week while I do Gogo's hair now. She has to let the "Leve" (the conditioner that she put in Bebe's hair while we have been having our conversation) soak in to really make sure her hair is nice and beautiful.

Mama: So um, the three day treatment is only $40?

Shilo: Yes it's $40.

Mama: Do you pay that up front or when you are done with the treatment?

Shilo: Oh um, you pay before the treatment.

Mama: Does that include a tip?

Shilo: Um no, the tip is not included, you pay that at the end. And that is like $500.

Mama: $500 for a tip.

Shilo: Well yeah, I mean it takes three times! (with hands waving in the air)

Mama: Well, I don't know, I might have to think about that I mean $500 is a lot for tip.

Shilo: Well yeah but its totally worth it.

We then moved on to provide the same spa treatment for Gogo who also had glue in her hair.

I honestly wish I could document and write down every thing that Shilo says and does. She constantly has us laughing, keeping us on our toes and realizing what life truly is about...its the little moments. I can try and put these moments into words, though the words can't truly express the moment that we may have had but, at least we can remember these moments as she continues to grow bigger and bigger every day keeping us entertained and amazing us with her beautiful mind.

In Shilo's Own Words

Well as my belly continues to grow bigger the question of how and when the baby will come out has come up. Those of you that know Shilo know she is just like her mama, likes to know EVERY detail, asks a lot of questions until she is satisified with the answers given and does not miss one single little detail.

So, based on our numerous conversations about the day "her baby" will come, here is her story, in her own words:


Dada will take mama to the hospital. Mama will put on some cozies so she is cozy (she interjects with, hey that's the same word) and then she will lay in a bed. Dada will put on a cozy outfit too so him and mama are matchy match. Dada and mama both have to wear special hats so their hair is not in their face. Mamas baby doctor, Dr. Zimmer (yes she knows his name) will come in to see mama and ask mama if she is ready to see the baby. Mama will say yes. Dada will take mama into a special baby room and they will put a big blanket over mama's tummy. I will not be in the baby room, its just for mama's and dada's. I will wait patiently outside. Next, Dr. Zimmer will come in and with special baby tools he will take the baby out of mama's tummy. Dada will clean off my baby and will wrap her (cause she insists its a girl) in a blanket and then dada will come and get me and will give me my baby so I can hold her.

And there you have it, the story of how Shilo's baby will enter the world! Sounds simple enough right?